To underestimate means not realizing the current or future potential of someone or something. As individuals, we often underestimate each other.
This wasn't something I thought about until I started doing creative projects that were different from the job people were used to seeing me do. When you do the same thing for an extended time, in my case, working in an office, it’s hard for people to see you in a different role.
I can tell when someone has underestimated me as they will say things like “you” wrote that, made that, recorded that and so on. I decided to read up on the idea of underestimation and what I learned gave me much to ponder.
We underestimate our power to change ourselves and overestimate our ability to change someone else.
Many of us don’t have a sense of our value. It feels self-centred to even discuss the topic. It is estimated that 85% of the population suffers from low self-esteem. That is a massive number. How do we mentally strengthen ourselves in a world where people continually knock each other down?
When we are underestimated it can be a demeaning and discouraging experience. It can adversely affect our mental health, shaking our confidence and self-esteem and igniting self-doubt. How can we silence the inner voice that is telling us we will never be good enough?
Building self-esteem
- be mindful of toxic people who get in your head and drain your energy
- cheer yourself on, give yourself a pep talk when necessary; if you don’t believe in yourself, can you expect others to believe in you?
- perform acts of kindness, which will also make you feel good about yourself
- make a list of the attributes and skills that you have; add to it as you go and build on that
- connect with like-minded people
- continue to learn
In movies, we often hear the bad guy stating, “you don’t know what I’m capable of”. I like that phrase when it isn't used in a sinister way. I don’t know everything you’re capable of accomplishing, and vice-versa. The adage "never judge a book by its cover” is an excellent mantra to use daily. I will add it to my vision board/2023 motivations document.
How does underestimating ourselves affect our lives?
We miss out on amazing experiences!
One year my adult daughter, Brittany, and I went to Mexico. That trip is one of my fondest memories. We repelled into a water-filled cave, zip-lined across a lake, snorkelled with sea turtles, climbed a pyramid and hiked the jungle, where we were cleansed in an ancient smoke ceremony. Confession, Brittany climbed to the top of the pyramid; I made it about twenty feet up before I got dizzy.
Naturally reserved I usually stand back and let someone else do such things while I watch and mock; that is where my strength lies. When we decided to take the trip, I had no intention of doing any of these things.
Obviously, I underestimated myself; I guess I felt confident with my daughter by my side, and her encouragement spurred me on to these reckless pursuits. I was a little shaky at first, but when it was time to repel into the cenote and they asked who wanted to go first, I was surprised when I heard the word “me” escape from my lips. I knew if I waited and watched the others in our group doing it, I would have chickened out.
Once we reached the water, we floated around on tubes until our time was up. Brittany and several other keeners stealthy ascended by rope. I stuck with the pack of weaklings who lacked the arm strength to climb up unassisted. Several Mexican tour employees lugged us up one by one using a harness and rope. I hope their back surgeries went well.
I have never returned to those exact locations in Mexico and would’ve always regretted it if I had let my fear cause me to miss out on those amazing experiences. I wasn’t crazy about the bats flying around in the cave, but they didn’t get me, and my nightmares subsided over time. In fairness to the bats, I was indeed invading their home.
What can we do when people underestimate us?
- you can't control the naysayers in your life, but you can prove them wrong
- don't base your life on other people's expectations of you
- repeat positive affirmations
- practice gratitude
- use the experience as feedback to help you grow
- you can't please everyone, so focus on what fills your cup - they can fill their own damn cup
- challenge yourself
How can we stop underestimating others?
- situations in life are seldom black-and-white, so take the time to observe, listen and think about the impact you have on others when you underestimate their potential
- show interest and ask questions; you might be pleasantly surprised at what you learn
- work on building your self-esteem; this will make you more confident and less inclined to be negative toward others
- when you realize you've underestimated someone, admit it and give credit where credit is due
It is instinct to admire people who are successful. Success can mean that you’re famous, wealthy, or have social status. It can also mean that you’ve accomplished a desired goal. I think anyone can be successful; if you feel you are successful, then you are!
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