Frustration is the feeling of being upset or annoyed because of the inability to change or achieve something. The colour yellow is associated with frustration and orange is associated with fascination. A significant number of people feel frustrated daily, yet it remains an emotion that gets little attention.
Frustration can be challenging to interpret at times. There is a fine line between it and destructive emotions like anger, stress, resentment or depression. Heavy sighs, eye-rolling or avoidance, are some ways that people demonstrate frustration. Responses to challenging situations can be giving up, loss of confidence and substance abuse. If you’re feeling this way, talk to someone you trust.
I think taking notice of people who are frustrated is important because living in a state of constant frustration crushes people’s spirits. It sucks away their energy and leaves them exhausted and disappointed.
Negative thoughts are unproductive and self-defeating. They block the ability to solve problems and move forward in life. Negativity caused by prolonged frustration can rapidly spread through a group of like-minded people, bringing everyone down.
There can be vast differences in perspectives between individuals. What one person views as a disastrous situation, another sees as an opportunity. The first person was frustrated while the second person became fascinated.
We have all heard sayings like bloom where you are planted, to ad nauseam, but many of those adages still hold true. They are timeless. If we lack the self-esteem to believe achieving is possible and don’t try, we will always wonder or feel regret.
When you tell yourself to get fascinated, not frustrated, introducing that idea can change your mindset. It gives you renewed energy and the confidence to keep going. When you are fascinated by something, you feel creative and look at challenges differently. It is better to feel the satisfaction of achievement versus how we feel when we give up or do not try.
Nothing is a given - life can change on a dime. The daily choices we make set the direction for our lives. Frustration can find it's way into many facets of our lives, including: finances, employment, health, and relationships.
Tips to help in these areas:
Finances
- look for ways to make additional income, possibly extra part-time work or start a business
- capitalize on the talents you have
- evaluate your lifestyle to see where you can cut corners to save money such as cooking at home, turning lights and electronics off when not in use and turning the heat down at night and when you are not going to be home
- learn about ways to manage your finances; there are tons of resources available through libraries and online at no cost
- meet with an advisor from your financial institution to help you assess your situation
Job Stress
Someone once told me that if you are only in your job waiting for your pension, you might die waiting. Over the years, those words reverberated through my mind many times.
- try to see both sides of an issue
- if you are bringing a problem to the table with your employer, be prepared to offer a possible solution
- be realistic and keep in mind that the grass always looks greener on the other side; few workplaces have the perfect environment
- if a job is taking more from you than it is giving you, it may be time to move on
Health
- be an advocate for your health; we instinctively know what is normal in our bodies and when something is not; trust your gut feeling
- get regular check-ups
- educate yourself about any diagnosis you may receive from your healthcare provider
- try not to make a Google diagnosis
Relationships
- toxic relationships can seep into anyone's life, and they can be hard to detach from
- the first step is to acknowledge they exist, then think about ways to protect yourself
As an example of frustration, I set up websites for this blog and my food blog. This took significant time and effort as I had no previous experience and no mentor.
With fewer trade shows operating this year due to the pandemic, I decided to set up my small business gift shop online and continue in-person sales.
I spent many hours learning the e-commerce program I chose, setting up the website, entering product information and photographing all the items to add to the site catalogue.
I am the kind of person who figures if a little is good, then more must be better. I had everything on the site working, and then I ”tweaked” a few things, added a couple more features and, in the process, crashed the site.
After spending several days being sent from one online technical support area to the next, I felt very frustrated and discouraged. I kept trying to figure out what the issue was. The phrase “don’t get frustrated, get fascinated” kept running through my mind telling me not to give up. I felt that I had invested too much time and effort into the project to simply scrap it.
I took a step back and followed the advice that a technical support person gave me even though the issue wasn’t in his scope of responsibility. I finally figured out that the problem was due to a plug-in that I had downloaded onto my store site while “tweaking.”
I felt so relieved once the problem was resolved. I love it when a plan comes together. That tech person could sense my frustration and went the extra mile to help me think things through.
How can we change the feeling of being frustrated and stuck?
- through the use of positive self-talk
- get out of your comfort zone and be open to new learning experiences
- ask for help and consider the feedback you receive seriously before dismissing it
- step away from what is causing you to feel frustrated
- reapproach the issue with a clear mind and a fresh set of eyes - think back to a time when you couldn’t find something; once you stopped looking for it, you found it.
- allow yourself space and time to renew. In a way, humans are like computers; occasionally, we need to shut everything down and reboot.
Most of us want instant gratification. If we don’t get it, things can get messy. Frustration isn’t all bad, though; it can be the catalyst for change. I like the saying, I don't know when I have had too much, but I know when I have had enough.
Let’s face it. We often place high expectations on ourselves and those close to us. Some things in life are out of our control. We can’t always choose the circumstance, but we do get to decide how we look at things. Maintaining a sense of humour is essential. The purpose of life is to be happy.
Patience is a virtue. It is the capacity to accept or tolerate delays, problems or suffering without getting angry or upset. Patience is not the ability to wait, but to have the right attitude while you’re waiting.
I asked Siri on my phone to give me the definition of frustrated, and she said it meant disappointingly unsuccessful. Wow, I thought that was a little bit harsh.
Reading something meant to be motivational is one thing, believing it is another matter altogether. I find self-help books overwhelming, and I think I have read enough of them to last me for the rest of my days. They cause me to feel frustrated and unworthy because I can’t achieve the level of inner zen that they profess exists. Do these books sit collecting dust on bookshelves around the globe? Maybe it is only me that feels this way. Many people love reading these types of materials and find them inspiring.
Understanding the way we react to situations boils down to self-awareness and self-confidence. Granted, a lot of the way we think was taught to us growing up and is ingrained in us. It is never too late, though; new behaviours and strategies can be learned at any age.
I am not, by any means, an expert in the self-help department. What I can do, though, is share my experiences and what I have learned in the hopes that they will resonate with someone.
We are one decision away from changing our lives. That phrase is simple yet profound. The challenging part is recognizing what that choice needs to be and having the courage to make it. It is possible to fail and still be at peace with our decisions if we gave it our all. Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.
If you like this post,
please share it.
Thank you for reading.
Comments