Who Holds the Purse Strings

Men often love to shop, while some women detest it. In this article, though, I am going with the stereotype that women like shopping more than men. Each household has its method of making spending decisions, and male and female spending habits tend to differ.  

My mom and dad were married for over 20 years before Mom got her driver’s license. Once a week during those years, Dad would drive her to town to do the grocery shopping. It was, "get what you need and let’s go”.  He would wait outside the store in the vehicle for her to finish and then take her home. 

Even though Mom got her license, she didn’t feel comfortable driving in the city, so unless she went with Dad or one of us kids, Mom didn’t get to go shopping much. When they moved off the farm into the city in their 70s, Mom enjoyed going shopping with my sister or myself. She was finally able to browse around, and she enjoyed those outings. 

Ideologies surrounding who holds the purse strings in a relationship have changed vastly throughout the last hundred years. In the first half of the century, men made the money and women were mainly homemakers with little income of their own. In the second half of the century, many women joined the workforce, which provided them with more financial independence than ever before. 

Starting in Paris in the 1800s, large scale department stores began popping up in cities around the world. Department stores such as Harrods and Selfridges (1909) in England were among the first to change thinking around shopping practices. It was no coincidence that they did it at a time when women were gaining in social and economic power. 

The first department stores had the biggest glass windows to date, ornate architectural designs, in-store restaurants, elevators (lifts), escalators (moving staircases) and in-store washrooms for women. Items were put out on display instead of locked in cabinets, and owners invited different social classes in to shop. These business pioneers coined terms like clearance sale and bargain basement, and returns were accepted. 

The phrase, "no thanks, I’m just looking” is one we have all used when approached by a salesperson. There was a time when browsing wasn’t an acceptable thing to do. Employees asked browsers loitering around the store to leave. Savvy business owners eventually realized that browsing was good for business and encouraged the practice. 

I love imagining how excited shoppers would have been entering a large, newly constructed department store for the first time. The tantalizing window displays, the top-notch service and luxury items must have overwhelmed their senses. For women of the time, department stores were acceptable places to be seen unaccompanied. 

Age, income and the stage of life we are at affect how we spend money. Our needs change as our lives evolve. I based my observations below on the shopping habits of people in their fifties and sixties. 

Profile of a Female Shopper
  • Shopping is viewed as a desirable activity
  • The word “sale” causes an increase in heart rate
  • Sense of time is lost
  • Have been known to impulse buy
  • Browsing is a major part of the shopping experience
  • Believe retail therapy is beneficial to their wellbeing
  • Quality of service is important
  • Find late-night online shopping entertaining
  • A female’s shopping list is long because they must anticipate the items everyone in the household will need
  • Women will take items home and then return them because they think they don’t look good in them (how many times have you seen your husband stand in front of the mirror and say “do these jeans make my butt look big?”). 

Profile of a Male Shopper

  • On the way to the store, the male species will inquire as to what exactly the female needs to shop for
  • They don’t consider browsing a worthwhile pursuit
  • Short check out lines and easy parking are important 
  • Sale or not, they go and get what they need
  • Enter a store focussed on a goal
  • Trying clothes on is considered equivalent to torture
  • Walk the mall with as much speed as possible, ensuring the wife and children are running to keep up
  • Get in and out of a store as fast as possible. I am talking SWAT team fast
  • On the drive home lament about what they forgot to pick up
  • Are also guilty of impulse buying
  • Can be heard saying, “did you buy any treats?” 
  • Would rather scratch their eyes out than be subjected to retail therapy
  • Fall asleep the instant their heads hit the pillow, so late-night online shopping isn’t an issue
  • Male shopping lists...do men make shopping lists, or are they only in possession of one if their wives gave it to them? (Asking for a friend)
  • Men don’t like returning items, they simply tear the tags off, leave them on the dresser and are good to go
  • Exude unmistakable body language - arms crossed, foot-tapping, heavy sighs, pacing or my favourite, running into my heels with the shopping cart which causes my head to turn all the way around and a mean hissing sound to escape from my pursed lips
In the 1970s, traditional department stores started feeling the competition from big-box or discount stores. The traditional department stores didn’t provide a one-stop shopping experience. The big-box stores carried cleaning supplies, toiletries and groceries as well as all the items of a department store. Over the last ten years, online shopping has put even more pressure on stores. Department stores like Woolworths, Eatons and Sears Canada are long gone, and big-box discount stores like Walmart and Costco are thriving. 


Original Eaton’s store in Winnipeg, Manitoba 1869
Catalogue sales 1884 - 1976 

Who holds the purse strings? Women now play a significant role in driving the world economy. They have the most control over the purchase of many categories of consumer goods including food, home furnishings, vacations, beauty, fitness and apparel. Women are also making gains in the areas of electronics and vehicles. 

Does any of this resonate with you? If you are in the fifty-plus age group, are your experiences similar to mine? What about younger demographics? How do your household shopping habits and experiences differ from those that I described? 

If you like this post, I’d love you to share it! 

Follow this blog at https://grandmag55.blogspot.com to read new stories.
Thank you for reading! 

©️Copyright 2020 Norma Galambos 




Comments

Gail Hall said…
I guess you hit the nail on the head, and we are traditional shoppers who fit your profile! I am a retired teacher age 64 who has worked from the age of 16 when I got my first part time job at a Hudson’s Bay store in an Edmonton mall. I have always enjoyed shopping, whether it be for food, clothes or any other type of goods. Costco is always exhilarating! I could browse for hours and come home with nothing other than the feeling of having satisfied my craving for novelty and the sight of new things nicely displayed. My husband will stand patiently but with a bored look on his face, arms crossed (clear body language) while I sometimes browse with him in tow, although he can stand to look around Canadian Tire, Home Depot and the like. He does not appreciate the overwhelming maze of aisles in Ikea!
Thank you for reading my story. I forgot about the body language; I will have to add that to the male profile. Yes, The Hubs gets an added spring in his step at Cabella’s, just like I do at the garden center. Each to their own, I guess. Take care.
Caroline Lye said…
Perfect descriptions for male & female shoppers! I love shopping! I return a lot of items from buyer's remorse! Use to buy my son when he was a little kid a second hand book next to the Extoggery shop to read! He'd sit under the clothing racks & I browsed in peace! He loves to shop as an adult!
Yeah, I think it is a learned skill.

Print