As the sparkle of the festive season cloaks everything around me, that to-do-list is causing a sense of heaviness in my soul. How many times do you hear the question “are you ready for Christmas?” Everyone has their own definition of what ready for Christmas means.
Some people go to great lengths shopping, decorating and baking, while others don’t really give a flying flip if they ever see a butter tart. I want to be somewhere in the middle of these two ideals. Ok, I really aspire to be in the flying flip group but deep down inside I know my personality will never allow me to be that chill.
Some people go to great lengths shopping, decorating and baking, while others don’t really give a flying flip if they ever see a butter tart. I want to be somewhere in the middle of these two ideals. Ok, I really aspire to be in the flying flip group but deep down inside I know my personality will never allow me to be that chill.
It has taken me many years to let go of some of the pressures I put on myself surrounding holiday preparations. It took me way too long to realize that most of the pressure was self-imposed.
I finally asked my family what things they really wanted and to my surprise, they never even mentioned a lot of the things I was stressing over making or doing as being important to them. They asked me “who told you that you had to do all that anyway?” Burn! I was left stuttering and stammering with no real answer. That was how I was raised and how I had always done things.
I was fortunate enough to be able to spend the first forty-four Christmas’ of my life with my dad. After he passed away, I was doing some reading about grief and one of the suggestions was to start a new tradition going forward. We started doing a Christmas Eve seafood meal which we have done every year since then.
Years ago, Mom crocheted tree ornaments out of gleaming white cotton thread. The sugar starch hardening method that she used allows the bells, stars and angels she made to hold their shape. When I look at the intricate work that she was so proud of it makes me cry that she can no longer crochet. It was something relaxing and enjoyable to her. Like a thief in the night, a disease like Parkinson's can steal away a person's small enjoyments.
This memory reminds me that the holiday season can be filled with grief, loneliness and anxiety for many people.
Why do we keep doing the same things over and over if they don’t fulfill us just because that is how it always has been done? We buy kids expensive gifts when they really prefer to just play with the box it came in and we make the fruitcake that the next generation doesn’t like.
This year I am taking it easier; buying less, doing less and making less. Our adult children take turns hosting holiday meals now. It is a real treat not to be the host every year.
Retirement maybe has changed my outlook, which is weird because now I should have the time to make a million butter tarts. Go figure.
Stay safe and warm with those that you hold dear. Merry Christmas!
I finally asked my family what things they really wanted and to my surprise, they never even mentioned a lot of the things I was stressing over making or doing as being important to them. They asked me “who told you that you had to do all that anyway?” Burn! I was left stuttering and stammering with no real answer. That was how I was raised and how I had always done things.
I was fortunate enough to be able to spend the first forty-four Christmas’ of my life with my dad. After he passed away, I was doing some reading about grief and one of the suggestions was to start a new tradition going forward. We started doing a Christmas Eve seafood meal which we have done every year since then.
Years ago, Mom crocheted tree ornaments out of gleaming white cotton thread. The sugar starch hardening method that she used allows the bells, stars and angels she made to hold their shape. When I look at the intricate work that she was so proud of it makes me cry that she can no longer crochet. It was something relaxing and enjoyable to her. Like a thief in the night, a disease like Parkinson's can steal away a person's small enjoyments.
This memory reminds me that the holiday season can be filled with grief, loneliness and anxiety for many people.
Why do we keep doing the same things over and over if they don’t fulfill us just because that is how it always has been done? We buy kids expensive gifts when they really prefer to just play with the box it came in and we make the fruitcake that the next generation doesn’t like.
This year I am taking it easier; buying less, doing less and making less. Our adult children take turns hosting holiday meals now. It is a real treat not to be the host every year.
Retirement maybe has changed my outlook, which is weird because now I should have the time to make a million butter tarts. Go figure.
Stay safe and warm with those that you hold dear. Merry Christmas!
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Comments
Your blog is really rolling now, Norma. Keep up the great work.
Please give your Mom a big hug on Christmas Day from us all.