Listening more than we talk sounds like an easy task. If we pause and pay attention, we would probably be surprised by how much we talk instead of listen. Strong communications skills don’t come naturally to everyone; they are something most of us have to learn and continually work on.
Listening is a lost art. Have you ever been in a room where everybody’s talking at the same time? Everyone wants to be the centre of attention, so if everyone’s talking who exactly is listening?
Do we listen with the intent to understand, or do we listen with the intent to reply? I often find myself not actively listening because I’m trying to formulate my response. Maybe I just can’t do two things at once.
Why are some people talkers and other people listeners? Is it a learned behaviour or a genetic trait? If our parents were talkers instead of listeners, are we the same?
The listeners sit back and quietly observe what’s going on around them, taking in all the information and processing it. The person they are listening to feels understood and cared about. Have you ever been at an event and noticed that certain people at your table dominate the conversation while others barely say a word? Is it self-esteem that gives individuals the confidence to voice their opinions freely? Is it that the listeners are comfortable enough in their own skin that they don’t need the affirmation that being the centre of attention brings, be it positive or negative?
We shouldn’t make assumptions as to why someone talks a lot, they could just be nervous or perhaps lonely. I feel like I listen, but I often don’t hear. Being a good listener is not as easy as it sounds. If I get nervous, anxious, uncomfortable or distracted I don’t remember what I heard after the fact.
Talking isn’t always a bad thing. I admire people who can work a room comfortably, engaging others in small talk. They seem to have the ability to ask the right questions to draw people out of their shells. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around. If it weren’t for the talkers, we would all be just sitting there staring blankly at each other trying to think of what to say.
I try to remind myself that I was given two ears versus one mouth, so I should listen more than I talk. I might even learn a thing or two in the process.
"When you talk, you’re only repeating what you already know, but if you listen, you may learn something new."
Dalai Lama
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©️Copyright 2020 Norma Galambos
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