Change Your Mindset | Change Your Life

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This article was published in Living the Second Act Magazine. 

Do fear and anxiety prevent you from doing the things you want to do?

When I retired, I struggled with the question; am I getting away from something or moving toward something?  

Our mindset is the established set of attitudes we have. These attitudes play a major role in determining our path in life. Changing our mindset involves personal work. We don’t have to be stuck with the same mindset forever, as it can change throughout our lives. 

7 Points to Consider

1.  Procrastination
  • The minutes of our lives are precious and non-renewable. 
  • Once we have spent those minutes we can’t change how we used them or get them back. 
  • We shouldn't put off doing the things we want to do or going to the places we'd like to see. The time to be happy is now. What are we waiting for?
2.  Pessimism
  • Negative thinking can keep us from taking charge of our lives. 
  • If we expect to fail, then we probably will, as limiting beliefs hold us back.
  • We can find our way if we are open-minded and flexible in our thinking. 
  • Over time we can develop a negative attitude and feel defeated without even realizing how much we have changed. 
  • Our self esteem is like a balloon, it takes a lot more effort to expand it than it does to deflate it. 
  • We can self-devalue by comparing ourselves to others.
  • We can choose to focus on the negative or the positive. Let's choose the positive.
3.  Confidence
  • Be confident in who you are and draw strength from where you came from. 
  • Our forefathers were inventors and creators who struggled through many hardships. Out of pure necessity they found ways around the obstacles in their lives.
  • We have those resilient qualities in us. Dig deep and bring them back to the surface. 
4.  Attitude
  • Attitude can often trump ability. 
  • Adversity can lead to unexpected opportunities. 
  • We acquired emotional intelligence through personal struggles: empathy, compassion and understanding.
  • We can look to people who inspire us for motivation and think about how our lives will change when our attitudes change.
5.  Age As An Advantage
  • View age as an advantage. 
  • The wisdom and experience we have gained can be one of our biggest assets later in life. 
  • Knowledge is the single best antidote for fear. 
  • Aging can be a time of having a new appreciation for ourselves and our gifts.
6.  Ask For What We Need
  • Ask for what we need to help continue to move forward in our lives. 
  • People can't read our minds; what is the worst that could happen if we ask? They could say no. One way or other we then have an answer.
  • It is okay to put yourself first sometimes. 
7.  Stay In Tune With Our Bodies
  • Physical symptoms can be a result of unrecognized stress, depression, anxiety, grief and fear.
  • When we are out of touch with our physical and emotional needs our bodies get our attention in ways such as sleep difficulties, fatigue, digestive issues, muscle tension and pain, irritability and headaches. 
  • If we feel physically and emotionally drained think about why we feel that way? Who or what is draining our energy?
  • Please seek medical support when needed. 
What determines what our mindset is? For many of us it is determined by the environment we grew up in. The coping skills we were taught and our parents' ideals about finances and relationships shaped us. Some of us grew up being told to hang on to what we have and to save.  My parents grew up during the depression and the war years, so that mindset was deeply ingrained.  

I am trying to work on those outdated thought patterns that I learned. As an example, I finally decided to use the red suitcases I got when I reached thirty-five years of service at my job. I thought to myself "what is the point of keeping them tucked away in the closet"? I admit when I saw a big stain on one of the suitcases, I felt a sense of panic that I shouldn’t have used it. I had to shake that feeling off and I decided that I am going to use them until they fall apart and then let them go. Old thought patterns are difficult to leave behind, and we need to be constantly mindful of their presence. 

We spend years building careers, homes and acquiring things, but how much time do we put into developing our mindsets so we can look at things in a more productive way?

There may be some resistance to change from those around us. Be patient, remain calm and keep communicating. Give everyone time to adjust.

I have found it helpful to approach making decisions by telling myself to make a decision and if it's not the right one make a different one. We don't need to make everything in life so complicated. We always have choices. 

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