This article was published in Living the Second Act Magazine.
Retirees often say they are busier after they retire than when they were working. They don't know how they managed to work full-time before. I am starting to understand what they mean.
The retirement experience is different for everyone. There are many factors that affect what we do in retirement; health issues, age, finances, the geographical location where we live and family commitments. It has been one year since I retired from my full-time job. I want to share a few things I learned that I feel are important when preparing for retirement.
#1 Make a Life for Yourself
Make a life for yourself outside of your spouse and children ahead of retirement. Some people are fortunate and have defined interests they bring into retirement that they have been honing for years. Others retire and realize things about themselves they never knew. They become painters, writers, artists, builders, and entrepreneurs. We are each responsible for our own happiness. The sooner we accept this the better life becomes.
#2 Ease Into It
Some people retire and realize it isn't for them and return to the workforce in short order. Don't feel judged for your decisions, do what works for you and your family. Part-time work is also an option, as it can help you stay in touch with people, supplement your income and help you to maintain a schedule. When you are retired it can feel like the weekend every day. You never know what day it is, and you don't care.
#3 What You Want To Do Might Surprise You
Enthusiasm over finally having the time to purge my belongings was short-lived. That was the last thing I wanted to do. It took months before I finally got to that project. I gave away things and had a garage sale. I did feel cleansed afterwards, but I am not going to lie, I didn't enjoy doing it. It is difficult to let go of things when you come from the "I got that as a wedding present, so I must keep it until I die generation”.
Cooking and baking amazing things were on my list, but that doesn't appeal to me right now. I guess I want to do different things.
#4 Make Plans Based on What Brings You Joy
Plan things that you enjoy doing. Having adventures to look forward to is important for your well-being.This can mean taking your dream vacation or curling up at home with a good book, it all depends on what makes you feel good. Our fleet of grandchildren has doubled to four this year, and we get immense joy watching them learn and grow.
#5 Try New Things to Help You Find Your Retirement Niche
I wasn’t as ready for the rocking chair as I thought I was when I retired. There are many things I still want to do. I certainly don't have all the answers. My retirement niche is still a mystery to me. I started several projects over the last year. I figure if I try a variety of new things, I am bound by the law of averages that one of them will be the right fit for me. At this stage in life, fear of not trying is worse than the fear of failing. Personal growth often creates some degree of worry about what people will think.
I learned many new skills this year launching my blog, podcast and social media sites. Editing my writing, shooting videos, sewing and making products for my gift shop were all great learning experiences. I am thrilled to have things that are my own creation.
Learning and writing about our family histories by going through Mom’s journals, photo albums and speaking with her and my mother-in-law has been a true labour of love. Through sharing my stories, I have connected with people in all sorts of places in the world that I never would have before. These stories will be a part of my legacy one day.
I feel challenged when I am in my creative space. A year ago, I didn't know I had a creative side. I have been writing almost every day for a year. Who knew I had all those stories in me? I certainly didn't. I never imagined I would write about my parents and growing up on the farm. Memories I had not thought about in years came flooding back. I felt compelled to start writing from the beginning of my life when my original intent was to start my story at retirement. Never underestimate the healing power of creative expression. I appreciate those who have read or listened to my stories. Your encouragement means a lot to me.
#6 Let Go of Old Thought Patterns
Learning to appreciate people’s talents and telling them so is something I have worked on. I strive to be inspired by their success, not envious or defeated by it.
I no longer scratch the days off the calendar. I am trying to stop wishing my life away. I find I am less interested in the drama in the world around me. I don't get the newspaper every week anymore and watch less television.
I still keep my detailed to-do-list. I don't think I will be ready to let that go anytime soon, but I am trying to be less rigid about getting things done.
#7 Re-evaluate Your Fears
When I talk to someone who is contemplating retirement, I ask them what it is about retirement that makes them the most anxious. Anxiety represents some kind of threat, whether it is real or imagined, and those feelings need to be validated.
I had no clue what my identity was when I left my full-time job. Even when you make the decision to retire you still don't know how to feel; set free, put out to pasture or replaced? Like anything in life, it depends on how you look at it.
It was difficult for me to make the decision to retire after thirty-seven years at the same job. I was afraid I would feel a sense of loss of friendship, my safe place, sense of belonging or be bored and lonely. Fortunately, so far, I have not struggled with those feelings.
I guess in a perfect world a person should have all their ducks in a row before they retire - financially and emotionally. The problem is, if you wait until everything is perfect you might spend your whole life waiting. Time is a gift that most of us take for granted. It moves on and things change, you can't go back, it is never the same. Focus on the day in front of you and make the most of it.
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Chris